Cricket, a funny game... Anybody???

Right from time immemorial, cricket has been endowed with characters who have added that little extra to this great game not just with their cricketing talents but also by way of some mischievous endeavours that have definitely made this game all that more pleasing. Remember Krish Srikkanth’s swagger towards the square leg umpire after facing a delivery or his aberrant tweak of the nose? You sure will. The impact that the unique traits of these cricketers leave on the minds of those watching is indelible. And this is what the game of cricket is revered for all the more. It’s not just a contest between bat and ball. Fun has always been an integral part of this game. In fact describing this game to a novice is hilarious in itself. Read on…

“You have 2 sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in, until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in, and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out, including the not outs, that's the end of the game. Howzatt!!!”

However, watching the modern day cricket battle it out, we hardly get that impression. What with the amount of money at stake and the constant media pressure? While the following of the game is fanatical in India, even countries like Australia have to bear the brunt of media wrath when not performing. In contrast, England’s performance in the recent Ashes series has also put them in the media spotlight; so much so that the football crazy nation sees their cricketing heroes hogging the limelight rather than their popular soccer contemporaries. Now, they are faced with the challenge of another kind, to keep up the great standards raised by the team of late. Expectations will soar sky high without doubt and this is where England might feel the pinch a bit when they take the field in future games.

And it is at times like these when pressure is immense on cricketers that someone having a grand sense of humour is required to make the atmosphere lighter. But look around today and you won’t find too many of them who could bring a smile to the face in the midst of a tense game. If at all you can recall a couple names, it ironically are two umpires, the recently retired David Shepard and the amusing Billy Bowden. Watching the current scenario, one feels the departure of the former has come at a wrong time for world cricket. He certainly was one who was admired by all, not just for his umpiring skills, which was top notch no doubt, but also for his handling of situations in the midst of squabbles between players. More often than not it was a friendly warning with a gentle smile and only rarely did he get extremely severe on players, unless the situation got out of hand. Even the players respected him for this affable attitude and calmed down usually. Everyone used to wait for his gentle hop whenever the score touched nelson. Didn’t it seem so funny yet so dignified? Now that he’s quit the game, we’ll come to know how important his contribution was, not just as a fine umpire but also as a great cricket ambassador with a witty mindset. How can we ever forget those lovely words emanating from a stern, gentlemanly voice during the end of a session? That’s over; time and lunch. Did anyone do it better than the good Shepard?

Well, Billy Bowden has his won unique style. In fact, he’s the umpiring equivalent of Virender Sehwag. Those watching Bowden for the first time are likely to mistake him for a circus acrobat. But then, only when one goes into the background of Bowden can one understand the rationale behind Bowden’s funny antics; a Kiwi bowler who turned to umpiring because his career was cut short by rheumatoid arthritis. Not many might know that the crooked finger Bowden raises every time he has to signal the end of a batsman’s innings is partly due to the ailment he suffered and not a totally novel idea of giving a batsman out as many might feel.

Unfortunately many were not too pleased with Bowden’s approach to umpiring during his early days in international cricket. The great Wasim Akram revealed some time back on a TV programme how he used to get irritated every time he got hit for a boundary and then he used to see Bowden’s frolics in full swing. In fact, if memory serves one right, Bowden was even told to tone down on his umpiring mannerisms some time back, a clear indication that fun is slowly but surely taking a backseat in this game. And it is more than possible we won’t see any more Shepards and Bowdens in this game. After all, even they are under intense scrutiny with technology pointing out each and every flaw they make.

Among the recent lot of cricketers, Ajay Jadeja was undoubtedly one cricketer who seemed to enjoy the game more than anyone else in the Indian team. And it is this joyful attitude that made him a darling among fans, especially the female population. But after him being indicted in tanking cricket matches, it is these very aficionados who felt that his behaviour had a lot to do with him knowing the result of matches beforehand. After cricket lost a good persona in the form of Jadeja, no one these days seems to follow his approach to cricket, probably for the fear of being under suspicion. Sadly the ghost of match-fixing has raised its ugly head yet again with a Mumbai bar dancer revealing she knew of two Sri Lankans involved in match-fixing and also allegations that results of recent Zimababwe tri-series were predetermined. It is of utmost importance now that the ICC does not sleep over this and gets it done and over with as soon as possible. Certainly it will be detrimental for cricket to go through something similar to the Cronjegate syndrome.

It doesn’t mean cricket has stopped producing players who can pull in the crowds. In Harbhajan Singh, India had another cricketer who had the gift of gab. But the chucking allegations have taken a toll on him and these days, he is seen banging the bat and ball in frustration more than anything else. And, of course, we have the Shoaib Akhtars and Brett Lees who send down deliveries down the batsmen’s end at more than 90 miles per hour. But they lack versatility and cater mostly to the younger generation of fan followers who enjoy watching fast-paced cricket. Kevin Pietersen’s arrival too has come as a breath of fresh air in international cricket. With his chic hair styling and exemplary attitude, he has endeared himself to cricket fans all over the world. But the topic of discussion here centers around a special kind of species; a cricketer with a striking personality who could add that fun quotient to the game. Yes, the word is ‘FUN’.

Cricket is missing someone like a Merv Hughes who had butchery looks coupled with a bulky, admirable moustache. Speaking of Hughes, one always remembers his sledging anecdotes, especially his duel with Robin Smith in 1989. While it’s true that he did go overboard at times while sledging, it won’t be wrong to say that he will always be remembered as a ‘one of a kind’ cricketer. One instance that most people remember very fondly is when he ran into bowl and went down on his knees faking an injury. And as all his teammates began to gather round him, he just got up and went back to his bowling mark having everyone, including the batsman at the striker’s end, (the late Hansie Cronje) in splits.

While on the issue of sledging, it seems to have become a necessity in the modern game. It does make for interesting viewing at times but it’s only ok as long as it doesn’t cross the limit. That hardly is the case though in this day and age. Not long ago the Sarwan-McGrath tussle in a Test send ripples through the cricketing world making the authorities concerned realize that something has to be done to improve the situation. Though match-referees have become strict thereafter, the players hardly seem to mind getting poorer by a few bucks and continue to have wicked tête-à-têtes with their opponents.

Weird as it may sound, bowlers getting more competent with the bat has also contributed to the ceasing wit element in the game. No.11’s have always been an integral part of the game and being rabbits with the bat, they have contributed in a large extent to the entertainment value. Was there a more comical sight in world cricket than watching Courtney Walsh bat in his inimitable style? The puling away of the bat and hiding it between his legs after being beaten all ends up as if he had read the line of the ball perfectly; never will there be another like him again. The fact that legendary Indian leg spinner Chandrashekar took more wickets than the runs he scored is amusing in itself !!!

The latest incident on a cricket field that one can remember which tickled the funny bone in a big way was Bryan Strang doing an exaggerated imitating of a Ganguly appeal during Zimbabawe’s tour of India in Y2K. It was comical no doubt and Ganguly (batting at that time) himself had a laugh over it albeit a sarcastic one. That apart, in modern day cricket, only the Kenyans seem to play the game without any pressure, as they are not expected to win. The Obuyas and Odoyos (if you don’t see their names on the scoreboard next time they play, it’s probably because they have changed their names once again!!!) have some rather boisterous dance steps to celebrate most of their dismissals. Unfortunately they don’t play enough cricket despite the fact that they made it to the World Cup semi-finals (no matter what the circumstances were). Bangladesh, on the other hand, are seen every couple of months despite not showing even an iota of improvement. This is not the first time the issue has been raised but it is something that cricket’s governing body has to address sooner rather than later.

All said and done, one has to assume that the game of cricket many not produce too many weird and hilarious characters in the future. Things have undoubtedly changed over the years and in a big way. Once played solely for passion and bringing glory to the country, today it has become a serious money making profession where no quarter is given nor asked. And considering the competition is only going to get more intense in the times to come, it seems the adage ‘cricket is a funny game’ is slowly but surely losing its essence. Sad as it may sound, we’ll probably have to live with it.

Some funny cricket anecdotes

Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 ounces." Next ball Viv hit Greg Thomas out of the ground and replied, " you know what it looks like, now go and find it!"

"Bomber" Wells was a spin bowler who represented Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire and batted at NO.11. Once playing for Glocuestershire, he was batting with the No.10. Since both were injured they decided to opt for runners. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. Amidst all this comedy of errors, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had all four running and ending up at the same end. One of the fielders threw down the wicket at the other end. Poor umpire Alec Skelding could only say this, "One of you is out. I don't know who. You decide and inform the scorers”.

Chandrashekar, once bowling in England, had a batsman plumb in front twice. Both times, the appeal was negated. A ball later, he bowled the batsman. Chandra appeals again, Howzatt? A puzzled umpire says he's bowled on to get a classic reply from Chandra; "I know he is bowled, but is he out?"

Ian Healy's once made this celebrated comment when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a hot night during a Sydney one dayer, "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit etc…”

During the 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed Miandad called Merv Hughes a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

And finally who can forget that great man W.G.Grace who once refused to leave the crease after he was dismissed claiming that the crowds had come to watch him bat!!!